August 13, 2007

My First Day




Oftentimes I wonder why I do the things I do. Perhaps I'm just a glutton for punishment. Maybe I just like to grate against my initial instincts, just to see what will happen. That was basically the gist of my evening. It was my first day as a cashier of a major international retail store. It had opened a few weeks before and was down the street from my house. My thoughts were thus, "Golly, this would be a nice part time job. Close to home. Close to work. Pretty easy and decent pay."

(You can already tell where this is going, don'cha? Was it the "golly" that gave me away?)

First days consist mainly of HR droning on about benefit/payroll/company policy information. Now these are all necessary evils when one begins a job, but I would like to address a minor irritant that plagued me throughout the tedium. In the movie Shaun of the Dead, Shaun works at an electronic store. He has probably worked there for a very long time. Maybe some days, to break up the monotony, he plays "You know how I know you're gay?" with his coworkers. Shaun is probably very happy with his life as an electronic goods salesman. But there is one aspect that chinks away at Shaun's otherwise pristine life of plasma TVs and cable, his coworkers are all seventeen year olds that call him Gramps and whose mouths are slightly ajar as they're listening to instructions or staring off in to space.

Three hours of gaping mouths and blank expressions. I was placing silent bets with myself on how long it would take for drool to seep from their lips and land disgustingly on their yellow employee handbooks.

Sigh.

This has only been the first day. I think I'll stick it out for a little longer. My one solace seems to be that if the zombies come, I'll be prepared with my "Hello My Name Is" tag and cricket bat. (Umm, once I get a cricket bat)

Modest Mouse "Wrong Decision" For less depressing, funner Modest Mouse, check out their blog - Modest Mouse blog